Posts Tagged ‘IDbusan’

Five Steps for Drinking With Koreans

IDsteve,

If you’ve ever so much as hung out with a Korean person, you know that they can match drinks with anyone. I didn’t even have to go to Korea to first learn this, as I got plenty of education even in the U.S. on what the phrase “Johnnie Black” means to Koreans. We gave you some advice for drinking with the Chinese, and since each culture in Asia has its own strict drinking rules, we thought we’d do the same in case you find yourself drinking with Koreans.

Without further adieu, here are your five steps to drinking with Koreans:

  1. Never, ever, under any circumstances pour your own drink: Just as you are supposed to be looking out for those around you to make sure their glasses are never empty (please, re-fill them if they are), they will be doing the same thing for you. Play along.
  1. Use two hands: When someone does pour your drink, hold your cup with both hands. This rule actually applies to anything given to you in Korea, and while you will probably be given a pass if you don’t do this out of unintentional ignorance, better to impress your hosts.
  1. Turn your back: I’m not sure that I agree with it, but Korea is still an incredibly hierarchical society. When drinking with someone who is considered a superior—a boss, older person, etc.—you should drink while turning your back from them when you take your sip.
  1. Eat when you can: Very rarely do Koreans drink with only one type of alcohol, and it can be considered rude to turn down a drink (also not sure I agree with this). Generally speaking, a night out will involve the traditional Korean vodka-like beverage of soju with dinner, beer with tasty Korean snacks like fried chicken at the next stop (hint: this is where you may want to load up—on food), a stop at another place for more beer, a trip to a karaoke place where you may end up drinking anything, and finally a trip to a club, where you also may be drinking anything. Food won’t be available everywhere, so to soak up your mixed liquor, eat when you can, even if this requires a quick stop by one of the delicious street food vendors selling tasty treats like ddokpoki in between venues.
  1. Selective amnesia: Depending how many people you’re out with, someone is going to drink too much. On a good day, this will just mean that he or she passes out at the table you are drinking at, in which case you will just see to it that he or she gets into a taxi safely. On a bad day, this will turn into a meaningless fight for no reason at all. Either way, this isn’t necessarily considered shameful in Korea, since it is expected to happen to the best of them at times, and simply means you’re making a noble effort to keep your drinking skills up. But when it does, a true gentleman will never mention it again. You’ll hope someone extends you the same courtesy when it’s you who is sprawled out on the floor of a Korean bar.
Listen to this advice when you're having dinner...

Listen to this advice when you’re having dinner…

...because this is to follow...

…because this is to follow…

Yes, that says 4pm to 9am....

Yes, that says 4pm to 9am….

It isn't going to slow down...

It isn’t going to slow down…

SKK_2948

…so eat that chicken when you can…

 

...because there is more of this to follow...

…because there is more of this to follow…

...with no shortage of options...

…with no shortage of options…

...you're likely to end up doing some karaoke...

…you’re likely to end up doing some karaoke…

...and then at a club

…and then at a club

Cut some slack to whoever looks like this first...

Cut some slack to whoever looks like this first…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s Day Special: The Concept of Chivalry in Korea

IDsteve,

In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up next week, I thought we would address the concept of chivalry and dating in Korea. Korean men, especially younger ones, deservedly or not, have a reputation around the world as romantics. Early on in relationships, they tend to shower their girlfriend with affection, in hopes of securing a long-term relationship.

A significant concept in Korean relationships is that of 100 days. After a child is born, families have a celebration on their 100th day, giving thanks to Samshin (the birth goddess), for helping the mother and child through their most delicate time.

The 100-day mark has a similar importance for couples, who often celebrate this occasion with gifts. Popularized by Korean dramas which seem to significantly impact outsiders’ views of Korean men and romance, it is an opportunity to exchange gifts, and the first time at which it would be considered appropriate for the guy to express his love for the girl. Also, it has become a popular trend for couples to celebrate this day by dressing exactly alike—that’s right, shoes, pants, shirt, etc.

However, while during this 100 day period it is likely to see the guy showering every possible bit of affection onto his new girlfriend, it isn’t likely that this treatment continues far beyond that. Korea is still a male-dominated society, and traditional gender roles are still alive and well. So once a couple is established, it is generally expected that the woman serves the man by cooking, cleaning, etc. You won’t often see an elderly Korean man open the car door for his significant other.

So ladies, next time you are walking in Korea and see a guy carrying his girlfriend’s purse (yes, it is quite a normal sight to see a grown man prancing around with a Louis Vuitton bag on his arm), you should probably consider that they are likely still in their 100-day period before your heart melts into the pavement.

Definitely signs of a first-100 day couple: dressed alike, guy carrying designer purse.

Definitely signs of a first-100 day couple: dressed alike, guy carrying designer purse.

Korea’s Warped Ideal of Beauty

IDsteve,

The ideal of beauty extends to males too....I think?

The ideal of beauty extends to males too….I think?

For better or worse, looks matter in Korea. I mean, looks really matter. Regardless of where you go, you’ll see girls on the subway, in their cars, at a crosswalk, restaurant tables and anywhere else looking into the little tiny mirrors that seem to be customary cell phone compliments. If anything is out of place, it gets fixed, then and there. If anything is too out of place, well that’s just cause to break whatever had been on the day’s agenda and head home to get it sorted.

In a country that thrives on pressure, and even breeds it as a national sport, women always need to be on their “A” game. It’s too cold for that mini skirt? Wear some tights underneath. You will be walking a lot and don’t want to wear those stilettos? Tough, do it anyway.

Alarmingly, this pressure to appear perfect doesn’t stay limited to portable mirrors and choice of attire. Cosmetic surgery is so commonplace here that there seems to be a doctor offering it on every corner, and all of them stay busy. Conservative estimates suggest that half of women in their twenties have had some surgery done, in many cases several, and most anyone here knows that number is actually much higher. There is even such an obsession with angular-shaped faces here that cosmetic surgeons can essentially shave jawlines.

A menu of cosmetic options (image credit: girlandtheworld.org)

A menu of cosmetic options (image credit: girlandtheworld.org)

Eyelid surgery is most common, because Korean women all seem to be mortified that they don’t have a natural fold in their eyelids combined with a fascination for large eyes. But for women who have put on a few extra pounds, liposuction tends to be the preferred solution as opposed to exercise, and nose jobs are highly common as well.

I’m all for people doing what they wish to do with their bodies—want to cover it in tattoos? Do whatever makes you happy. The problem I have here in Korea, however, is that in spending enough time around these people, you get the sense that in most cases, the work that is done is not even necessarily because the girl herself wants it. Instead, she feels pressure from society, perhaps even subconsciously due to the importance put on the standard of ‘perfection’ here. Indeed, this is a country where photos are still attached to job or college applications, and most people believe that looks can be not only a deciding factor, but an absolute essential to even garner consideration.

What’s worse is that these unrealistic ideals are confirmed even in the home, where it is common for parents to pay for cosmetic surgery on their teenage girls. Can you imagine actually wanting your own child, the fruit of your loins, to be put under the knife because she isn’t good enough?

At some point, this has to stop if Korea is to continue its growth as a major player in the world economy. Pressure to be beautiful isn’t on the radar of human rights watchdogs yet, but at the rate Korea is going, it could soon be. Jobs and promotions are still won and lost based on willingness to perform sexual favors in this still male-dominated society, as the suicide case of actress Jang Ja-yeon, who was sexually abused by several entertainment executives, shed light on. Along those same lines, it was news recently when a local politician was quoted as telling a group of students that debate judges, of which he was one, “don’t really pay attention to the debate. They are actually interested in how participants’ faces look.”

Quite simply, the combination having males still highly dominant in this society, and the lack of any cultural theme that beauty comes in different shapes and sizes and colors, or is in the beauty of the beholder, makes for a potentially major social issue in Korea.

Don’t tell me what is or isn’t beautiful unless you want a smack in the jaw.

Jang Ja-yeon's story exemplifies what is wrong with Korea's pressure society (image credit: popseoul.wordpress.com)

Jang Ja-yeon’s story exemplifies what is wrong with Korea’s pressure society (image credit: popseoul.wordpress.com)

Why You’ll Never Be Able to Guess A Korean’s Age

IDsteve,

Asians, male and female alike, generally tend to do pretty well when it comes to aging—in many countries in the Far East, it isn’t uncommon to see working professionals who could probably pass for high school students in many places. Whether it is genes, the hefty emphasis they place on body and skin care, or overall healthy lifestyles, it can be difficult for people from other cultures to play the age-guessing game here.

In Korea, that is even more challenging, because of Korea’s unique method of calculating someone’s age.

Most of us turn a particular age on the day that is exactly that number of years from our birth. So if I was born on the first day of March in 1990, then today, March 1st, 2013, I turned 23. For the rest of this year, and actually until March 1st, 2014, I will be considered 23 years of age.

Koreans, however, are all considered two years older than they really are. Three months after birth, a Korean is already considered to be age 1, factoring in the 9-month pregnancy. Then, on the New Year’s Day of their first year, they are considered to be 2. So from our example above, if I was Korean and born on the first day of March in 1990, then I turned 1 on June 1st of that year. Then, on New Year’s Day of 1991, I turned 2. From then on, I add a year every New Year’s Day.

So under this method, even though today is still celebrated as my birthday, my age doesn’t change. I actually “turned” 24 on January 1st. Come January 1st, 2014, I will turn 25, while the non-Korean I share a birthdate with will still be 23.

Of course, this method opens up another can of worms: If the first birthday is considered 90-or-so days after birth, and the second is the first New Year’s Day, then what about those babies born in the last three months of the year? Does that first New Year’s they experience just not count, because they haven’t reached their 90 days yet?

In this case (which the math would suggest applies to about 25% of Koreans), the first New Year’s Day is indeed “skipped” in regards to counting age. But the age calculation quickly catches up after that. For babies in this case, the first actual birthday (as in, the anniversary of the actual date of birth), would add a year, and then the annual New Year’s Day tally would continue as per normal.

So in this example, if I was born on November 1st, 1990, I would turn 1 on February 1st, 1991. I would turn 2 on November 1st of that year, and quickly turn 3 on New Year’s Day of 1992, just as in the example above when I was born on March 1st.

Got that?

Next time you bet a drink on guessing your Korean friend’s age, don’t forget to clarify whether you’re guessing their Korean age or their other age, and if it’s their Korean age, add two!

(image credit: eMagAsia.com)

(image credit: eMagAsia.com)